Can you learn to surf at 50?

Of course not – that would be ridiculous.

Any sentient being approaching 50 years of age must feel the looming presence of their own mortality. The searing ache in every feeble, wasting muscle in your body, the befuddled confusion at pedestrian crossings where clarity of thought once reigned. The smell of decay when you change your socks (if you can still reach your own feet)…

You can’t learn anything now, either mentally or physically. Your library card is full. Your tattered man-card was half-punched, then got folded and tucked into an old pleather wallet that you lost at the bingo hall.  Your Amazon warrior status has been revoked and now you’re just an Amazon Prime subscriber (month to month obviously. You know – just in case!).

Don’t ‘rewire’, ‘start it up’ or ‘reboot’. I wouldn’t even bother buying green bananas. Just have a cup of something warm and malty and a quiet nap in front of Countdown.

Meanwhile that will leave more space in the ocean for the young guns. Like that virile colt in the photo above (recently featured in Drift Magazine).

My, he doesn’t look a day over 49…

I didn’t surf today. It looks like it might offshore at Cabadelo on Wednesday…

2 Replies to “Can you learn to surf at 50?”

    1. You must have got the hang of it by now. It’s easy – you just point the pointy end at the beach and surf towards it. That’s what I do anyways…

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