Wedding photography in central Portugal

Obviously this is a blatant piece of self promotion. I’m increasing my SEO (non-nerds can Google what that means. Non-Googlers – you have no place being on the internet – so go and knit a wholemeal tanktop or carve yourself some panpipes using a rudimentary lathe and some baler twine). I’m doing this by using a ridiculously obvious title, adding live links to the interweb and also telling all of my several subscribers about my new websites.

That is the perogative of the webmaster. I have a tiny corner of the World Wide Web over which I have complete autonomy. Here I am the ruler, the Papersurfer President. In fact, in this domain – I AM GOD…

For a moment I shall leave aside my feelings of insecurity because in the world of professional photography I am merely a tiny speck on the lens of the Universal Camera. I am a byte on the SD card of existence. I am a mere pixel in the infinite RAW file of life itself.

So please share these links. Like my Facebook page. Be supportive and loving and the Universe will hug you in return. Unless you’re wearing a tanktop – then there’s no hope for you at all…

Wedding photographer in Portugal

Surf and travel photography (in Portugal and the rest of the planet)

Facebook page: www.facebook.com/markcrockettphotography

I didn’t surf today. Still spitting out seaweed from the last time I went…

Add new post…

I haven’t blogged for so long it feels like I’m rummaging around in amongst some strangers drawers. Quite exciting and yet ever so slightly wrong. Much like being grammatically ambiguous…

My previous theme decided it didn’t have the energy to load properly anymore (hence the WordPress ‘basic’ and inconspicuous lack of images in previous posts) so I have downsized.  I think my days of hatcheting WordPress themes are over, there are people much better qulaified than I churning out exceedingly fabulous websites for the meagre price of no pennies. So I shall stick to filling up the empty spaces where instructed by my automatically updating, loads very quickly, doesn’t need any unsupported plugins, no bells, whistles or sticking plasters theme.

So this is a photograph of some baby peach trees and some moody looking clouds. It has no amusing back story, no political slant or hidden agenda. Just a picture. There was a button that said ‘add new post’ and then another one that said ‘add media’. Job done…

I didn’t surf today. Too busy doing what I’m told…

 

Convolution part 2

(…please see previous post)

Of course I’ve never been one to follow advice (good or bad) so the possibility of me prattling on in a deranged manner with absolutely no discernible facts or points of interest eminating from this particular repository of minutia is, as always, quite high…

However, I would like to point out (assuming you got this far down the page before clicking ‘close’) that I am completely aware of the drudgery involved in trawling through blogs with endless monotribal effluential spoutings. So my advice to you (the reader of such floundering trivia, as proved by your continuing presence at this late point in the proceedings) is to go elsewhere for your internet based titillations. If, conversely, you love filling your capacious noggin with a wiffling load of random old nothingness – then by all means read this post as many times as you like.

Personally, I’m going for a lie down in a dark place…

I still haven’t surfed today.

Papersurfer the movie?

One midsummer day I was leaning into an involved conversation with an abstract artist (of moderate fame) who, for no apparent reason, said to me in an intriguing manner…

“…you should write a book…”

The conversation was slightly fuelled by a prelunch intake of cold refreshing cider in an ancient, smoke filled country pub. So I completely ignored him and continued to pursue my line of questioning about how many pounds (sterling) per square meter he earned for his ‘artwork’. The answer (ascertained after some dubious bar napkin mathematics) was quite impressive even at that early stage of his career.

This conversation was held over 20 years ago and I’ve often returned to it in my mind. Not because I have a burning desire to communicate with the universe through the medium of the written word but because a man who hardly knew me felt he could judge my ability to put pen to paper after a few moments of listening to me rant about random nothingnesses.

He was (and still is) completely mad. But he was right about one thing; I should have written a book.

And as it happens – I have…

You can buy it by clicking here.

I didn’t surf today. I was too busy reading my new book.

(Film rights are still negotiable at this point)

Better than real life…

the gecko

I’ve been looking at a lot of skateboards recently – the gorgeous Tango gave me the fantastic Whirling Dervish to stretch my learning curve on but I also wanted a board with a tail to replace my battered old shortboard – something a bit longer and wider (and slower to lower my skin graft to ride ratio). The ideal board looked like the Loaded Ceviche but at over £275 for a complete set up it seemed a tad on the dear side.

So I rummaged around in the loft, pulled out a few old floorboards, a pair of old disco skates and some slightly used chewing gum and threw ‘the Gekko’ together. It rolls. It turns. It does everything it’s supposed to. Very happy with it indeed…

So in my effort to overturn the current economic crisis I have decided to make more. It’s the obvious solution to a malaise that is sweeping the globe. Why sit indoors watching Susan Boyle on Youtube when you can charge down the nearest hill on a longboard and throw yourself into some tarmac?

In addition to the surfy/snowboardy emulator pictured above I shall be making a meranti/epoxy laminated flex carver and a downhill deck (website and prototypes available soonish).

Building skateboards might not make me a millionaire but it’s better than real life…

I didn’t surf today but I will be whirling my Dervish.

Too old to skate?

The majority of people cruising into middle-age might mark the transition with an instigation of a pension plan or buying some nice brown slacks. I realised today that I may be in the midst of some form of denial period of my life and although my cranial follicle count is dwindling on a daily basis and my previously ginger beard is thankfully turning grey I still believe myself to be in my late teens.

I have decided to confront my current dilemma with a very important compromise to my previously youthful exuberence and have been shopping online for a new skateboard. No longer shall I be riding a 29″ x 8″ deck with 50mm hard wheels but am buying an old man’s cruiser with a 38″ x 9.25″ deck bearing 60mm soft wheels. Bearing in mind that I am a truly rubbish skater this is a very sensible and mature move.

I no longer bounce when I hit concrete – just a dull thudding noise followed by a small whimper.

Other modifications to ease the passage into the twilight years of my life shall include having less tattoos done this year, paying my tax bill and eating slightly more leafy, green salads.

Sorted.

I didn’t surf today. I fear I may be repeating myself.

Social networking – the end of the world?

A simple discussion with the gorgeous Tango (grrr) recently ended in a rather startling conclusion:

It began with the simple thought that social networking websites are an incredibly efficient waste of time when you’re not working and of course that led to the thought that there must be an enormous percentage of office workers online during the day that are logged into these sites. If the number of minutes spent yakking away on Twitter or Facebook were tallied up for every single one of those millions of people and that was translated into loss of revenue from lack of time spent doing their jobs then the figures would be astronomical.

This isn’t a case of Shelley from accounting playing a few rounds of Minesweeper during an extended coffee break – we are talking billions upon billions of dollars being spunked up the wall by miscreant Tweeters wiffling about what colour socks they are wearing.

If this continues to grow at this alarming rate the knock on effect will be catastrophic – companies will close, markets will crash and the very fabric of our capitalist society will crumble into dust and soon we’ll all have to knit our own sandals from tofu and start eating muesli flavoured Big Macs.

There is of course the theory that Al Qaeda masterminded the Facebook phenomenon. That would be ridiculous. Surely…

I didn’t surf today. I was too busy facebooking your mum.