All done bar the grouting…


There is a reason that I’m not a plumber. It’s not that I can’t do it because I can – it’s hardly rocket science (that as we all know is the study of a jet-propulsion device that uses either solid or liquid propellants to provide the fuel and oxidizer needed for combustion. The hot gases provided by combustion are ejected in a jet through a nozzle at the rear of the rocket causing the device to accelerate in the opposite direction).

Plumbers behave as if there is some mysterious art to joining pipes together that only they are aware of. This is of course a complete pile of gonads – if a plumber who on average has the intelligence quotient of a small piece of seafood can do it then, quite frankly, anybody can.

There is no real reason I’m not a plumber other than I hate it. That is it. Simple. End of discussion.

Tiling and grouting however I could just do forever. Because it’s fucking scintilating…

I didn’t surf today but I did have a bad day at the office.


  1. alright mate glad to hear there are some things you can`t do well !hee hee hee.
    all is well in kiwi land ,its summer and offshore at piha with the first cyclone swell arriving on east coast too,yahoooooo.
    hope the loverly trannie has provided a good service .
    seasons greetings blah blah.
    and give junior papersurfer a gentle knuckle rub for me and give AD a dead leg too xxxxxxxxx

  2. The tranny has been excellent – apart from getting stuck every time you park it on a wet leaf! Glad to hear you got home safe – we all miss you loads. Catch some nice warm waves it’s all gone frickin’ freezing over here. Bloody mountains… xxx

  3. warm water cold air off shore perfect clean waves all up and down the coast i surfed yesterday and will again today yippee,
    from an absent not really a plummer

  4. oh my god penfold – are you dating a trannie? don’t accept presents from kiwis with suspect names! save yourself for a real woman….

    I’m stroking your christmas stockings as I type. picture following in good time 🙂

  5. I think i might have some pressure building in my valves… can i borrow your spanner ha ha tee hee hee xx

  6. uhuhh… penfold. dont tell me you just fell down?? really really happy to have you back in here! 😉

    eh, goddesses have very complicated plumbing? hmmm…. *wondering really really hard*

  7. penfold, really… now you are even talking like a builder type person. 70s is quite right though…and seems like we could all do with some. You can come over here and bend my pipes if you like…
    blimey i really must learn how to surf or something so that i have a far cleaner and more interesting subject to comment on! Have been housebound for a fortnight do you think its starting to show!!!!!! x

  8. I wouldn’t bother with tiling and grouting if I were you. Besides, grouting is illegal in several countries in Eastern Europe. Although I know a place in Sydenham where people go under cover of night for a secret grout. They go there and they park their cars and sometimes people watch each other grouting. It is most distateful. Recently, Stan Collymore was arrested for Willful and Persistently Evil Grouting.

    This has got me thinking. Is ‘hounding’ the same thing as ‘dogging’? I read recently about a man being hounded out of his home by unruly neighbours. Blimey. What a way to go.

  9. I cannot deny my true inner self UDH – my builder within grows stronger by the day. It is my destiny…

    Woppity – I hope they were flashing the living room lights appropriately to let the neighbourhood in on the action.

  10. 70s I am happy to share – i’ve done it before! You can have first twist if you like. Penfold i hope you are blushing at this point.And as for your inner builder – let him out for gods sake so we can all have some grrrrr…outing.

    Mr Woppit i am worried about you. x

  11. 70s – sorry in all the excitment i forgot my manners. No, i have been playing nurse to my sons who have been perfecting the refined art of manflu. Thank you for your concern. xx :]

  12. UDH… ooo thank you but I think I scare Pen too much 😉

    Oh dear 2 trainee manfluers I bet you had your work cut out for you, put your feet up now they are better x

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