I can’t remember the last time I used the ‘maths’ part of my brain. I fear atrophy is rife. A small withered lump of dry gristle now dwells where a toned rippling muscle once stood tall.
Armed with a piece of paper, a tape measure, a big pile of timber and a scientific calculator my mission was simple – measure a big square hole and fill it with a staircase.
The measuring was a breeze – snappy and stylish – even the occassional flourish in tape measure handling. What a pro.
Tools out – superb. Saw bench, router, various set squares and honing devices – looking good.
Then I picked up the paper and the calculator and all went quiet – I think a synapse had snapped – my brain had stalled.
Nothing. Nada. Zip – diddly squat. Bugger.
The difficulty was the ‘fan’ at the top. Four stairs turning through 90 degrees – like a quarter of a spiral staircase.
Where was Tiggz when I needed him? He used to be the fine fettler of all things wooden. This would be when I would delegate with great efficiency and wander off looking for something manly to do….
Tea… that would help. Pencil sharpening – also a good thing. A dull thud at the back of my head and a distant memory of someone called Pythagorus. Hypotenueses and square roots. More tea and a sit down. Cripes.
Slowly a dim shape formed in my mind – a three dimensional image of lines and numbers. Layers of dust and grime fell away revealing ancient memories of technical drawing and trigonometry that have been dormant for years.
The lines and numbers started to solidify under my newly sharpened pencil and slowly a plan took shape. At this point the well excercised ‘tool-handling’ section of my cerebellum took over and I could relax into production mode.
I’m not sure if the maths department is something that I want to awaken very often but it’s good to know that it will still fire up if the need arises (even if it could do with a few sessions at the gym!)…
I didn’t surf today but I did math!