Portuguese highway code – lesson 1


Lesson 1 – Indicators

These should generally be used with hesitancy and caution usually to display a recent action (ie to be used just after making a turn or overtaking another vehicle).

They can also be used to indicate a state of impatience and frustration on motorways – normally associated with large imported German cars driven by men of a diminuitive nature (physical stature and genital dimensions).

Finally the ‘Red Herring’ – a basic decoy manouevre. Simply indicate in one direction (ie right) and then turn in exactly the opposite direction (ie left) preferably cutting up cars coming in both directions causing increased heart rates and stress related symptoms for all drivers involved thereby making the roads just a little bit more exciting for all concerned.

Thank you – you’ve all been loverly students – now go and play nicely with the traffic…

I didn’t surf today.


  1. Ms Tango (grrr) – ‘carrots’ means ‘my Dad is a numpty’ in European English (but being one of the few people ever to meet DP in person you probably knew that)

  2. 70s sneaking in … tip toeing .. between the love birds…

    You have described BMW w**ker drivers in Manchester ( I had one today, check that, it is daily with Beemer drivers !!) and ordinary everyday drivers in sleepy Ainsdale!!

    I know nothing about carrots however !! [did I use ‘proper’ English? gosh I hope not!!]

  3. typically if you see an Oldsmobuick Roadmaster driving down the road, seatbelt outside the door and sparking along the pavement, and the turn signal happens to be on you can be quite certain that it was on when the owner/driver of the car bought it in 1976… one would be unsafe to assume a signal in any way indicates the intention of the driver to re-direct the vehicle.

    (short version – yep. we got ’em too.)

  4. Ms 70’s – glad to hear BMW finally produced the wanker series (a customisation of the 5 series). As for the carrots – best to leave them in DP’s head…

    Ms Daisy – I drove a ’76 Olds for a while – lipstick red, white leather interior and a General Lee horn to scare pedestrians with (I did however know where the indicators were!) it was fabulous…

  5. And just how do you know that genitally diminutive men have a proclivity for driving large imported German cars? I hope you aren’t speaking from personal (i.e., first-person) experience. 😀

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