Social networking – the end of the world?

A simple discussion with the gorgeous Tango (grrr) recently ended in a rather startling conclusion:

It began with the simple thought that social networking websites are an incredibly efficient waste of time when you’re not working and of course that led to the thought that there must be an enormous percentage of office workers online during the day that are logged into these sites. If the number of minutes spent yakking away on Twitter or Facebook were tallied up for every single one of those millions of people and that was translated into loss of revenue from lack of time spent doing their jobs then the figures would be astronomical.

This isn’t a case of Shelley from accounting playing a few rounds of Minesweeper during an extended coffee break – we are talking billions upon billions of dollars being spunked up the wall by miscreant Tweeters wiffling about what colour socks they are wearing.

If this continues to grow at this alarming rate the knock on effect will be catastrophic – companies will close, markets will crash and the very fabric of our capitalist society will crumble into dust and soon we’ll all have to knit our own sandals from tofu and start eating muesli flavoured Big Macs.

There is of course the theory that Al Qaeda masterminded the Facebook phenomenon. That would be ridiculous. Surely…

I didn’t surf today. I was too busy facebooking your mum.

21 Replies to “Social networking – the end of the world?”

    1. It’s a wordpress plugin. You should have a word with your webmaster. Except that’s me and I can’t be arsed to do it. Sorry…

    1. Welcome Ms Faucheux. The more people Twittering the better as far as I’m concerned.
      Bring on the collapse of Western civilisation – I have enough tinned Spam sqirrelled away to last a lifetime…

  1. you will pleased to hear that during the paid part of my day I don’t ‘tweet’ ‘twitter’ ‘social network’ at all …I have to instead have social converse with tedious work colleagues …. if I could I would do the former rather than the latter but Big Bro has disabled that avenue of pleasure and he dictates I must be bored sh*tless by humans (humans used in the looses sense of the word)… how unreasonable is that??

    1. Exceedingly. You should demand adequate Twitter time in accordance with the 2009 Brussels directive. Very important to stipulate terms at the start of your contract. I did and that’s why I’m where I am today. In the middle of nowhere…

      1. mmm I am currently dealing with an 08 EC Directive where all 20 odd Member States can barely agree… I dare not yet venture into 09.. however, blowing the dust off my contract I know I didn’t sign up for this … [yearning for the open fields and somewhere in the middle of nowhere….]

  2. my organization blocks any and all ‘social’ sites, as well as ebay, stock trading and anything non-work related. bastards.

    my thought for defeating global terrorism was to export Baywatch, Dancing With The Stars and Big Brother to countries harboring the most terrorists… just blast it in, like we used to do to Cuba… we’ll undermine their society within a few short generations!

  3. I still cannot for the life of me understand the addiction to micro-blogging, but nor can I ignore its momentum. If only we could convert all this (anti)soical-networking into something productive. Billions of dollars? I’m banking on it…

    1. Isn’t commenting on blogs just another form of micro-blogging? Making your own actions the subject of your miscomprehension therefore leading to a possible paradox resulting in the end of the micro-universe…?
      I probably need another cup of tea before I go outside…

      1. No, not really. It’s passing an opinion about what you (the blogger) have to say about the world, which is occasionally (ok I’m stretching the adjective a bit there) interesting, thought-provoking, insightful, amusing or witty. Taking the time to inform a couple of friends and a billion uninterested people what colour socks you put on this morning is nothing more….

        OK, you’re right. Goodbye.

    1. Most definitely. It’s all down to us faffing around on the internet instead of doing something useful. Like snoozing.

  4. Yah sometimes right and sometimes maybe there just taking some rest for having hard work or maybe its thier break time that’s why there checking their account on whatever social neetwork they’re in.

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