A stormy day that never quite happened. The air seemed to get heavier and thicker and the clouds were brewing up for a spectacular light show. A few distant grumblings from a sky with not enough space for the weather held beneath, some brief flashes across the hills and a spattering of oversized rain. Then nothing.
Some days the tranquility and beauty that surrounds this place just isn’t enough for me – it only seems to reflect the solitude and the holes in parts of my life. Spaces that used to be constantly filled with family and friends. Now some get replenished occassionally but there are holes that have such individual impressions they can never be filled. Maybe I don’t want them to be but it doesn’t stop them aching at times.
These last few years have been a staunch lesson in real life for me – the reshaping of a family and the home that held it – and the death a close and beautiful friend who – ironically I suppose – would be the one getting a call on day’s like today…
For a moment I thought I’d lost my mother and I even lost a grip on my own hand for a while…
I keep waiting for the storm to break – one way or the other. I want lightning and hail and thunder that makes dog’s howl. I want the sunshine breaking through the darkness and lighting up the mountains like a wall of gold.
But today the clouds just keep rolling past pushing the humid air down.
Maybe I should go for a surf… sounds like a bleedin’ good idea to me.