Surf rage…

…due to a painful and excessively embarrassing incident involving an ancient snowboard, a distinct lack of finesse and my unprotected coccyx – I’ve been spending too much time cruising the interweave for idle stimulation. In an attempt to distract my mind from my aching derrière I’ve found myself following numerous threads on surfing forums and surf video upload sites.

Expecting to find like-minded souls dissecting the fabric of the universe in a suitable complicated and organic manner I found anger and disparity amongst brethren. I found fellow surfers using expletives suitable to sailing folk and a level of rage usually found only within the studio walls of the Jerry Springer show.

I am horrified that people can spend so much of their precious moments on this planet finding ways to insult each other. They should be giving each other big virtual hugs – not hurling internetty hatred around. It makes me mad to think that creative energy is wasted on purile filth and lazy humour. Haven’t these idiots got anything better to do than whittle away their lives in cyberspace – making facile obsevations about people that they don’t even know. What a bunch of plebianic morons – making up flobbing great, narky, shite words that aren’t even real flippin English. Get a pigging life you tossing no hoper wanky bar-stewards before you give us intellectual surfers a bad name….

I didn’t surf today.

Illustration taken from ‘Papersurfer – diary of a middle aged surfer‘.

Fancy a holiday in the Algarve? Then click here…


  1. Done right, lazy humour can be quite fun…and stimulating to both cerebrum and humerus (maybe).

    I do send healing thoughts and wishes to your coccyx. (But it’s probably getting all the TLC it needs from the beauteous Tango.)

    1. Loverly Lizza – all good wishes regarding my posterior are gratefully received with thanks. Tango is indeed tending to my needs with all the delicacy and tenderness required in these circumstances… x

  2. I’ll give it a good seeing to when we see you next week – you’re welcome.

    I’ll just get down with the kids now ….. POO BUM WILLY – stop getting in my waves ……. dude ….. *starts Uncle dancing*

    Hello Lizza *waving* – and stop beating me at Scrabble!!!

  3. if i wish to push myself toward the abandonment of all hope, i read the comments posted by my neighbors on articles in the online local newspaper. or any video posted on youtube.

    we’re doomed.

    1. I think you may be right – I am truly flabbergasted by some of the downward spiralling comment threads on youtube. I think in evolutionary terms we may have peeked a tad too soon…

    1. Obviously mater dearest – I was referring to the merchant class.

      The closest you get to an expletive is ‘spiffing’… x

  4. You’re right that they should be giving virtual hugs but for the people who don’t have the balls to tell others upfront what theyre thinking this might be good to blow of some steam hehe

    1. Welcome Sr Luso – I’ve always been a fan of direct and positive communication and blowing off some steam but doing it to complete strangers in a place where delicate and impressionable minds can read it. Not so sure…

  5. Maybe I can help out with the ‘not surfed’ today comment. Arriving next Wed for the rest of my natural life hopefully, and will need some waves and company for them. Will be based near Castanheira de Pera, are you nearby?
    Peter WD

    1. Welcome to Papersurfer Mr WD. We are pretty close – about 30 minutes north near Lousã. You’ll get here just in time for the new swell that’s brewing after a tragically long (and very unusual) flat spell. Get in touch after you’ve settled and we’ll hook up for a good dunking in the Atlantic…

      1. Welcome Foafo. Thanks for the link to the best webcab since the dawn of creation – motorised, panning and zooming. Looks like it’s sitting on the roof of the Praiainha bar at Baleal to me. That’s where I head to surf mostly – I expect we’ve met somewhere along the way. Will be down in a few days as soon as the swell picks up a tad. Look for the big white lorry with ’58 surf’ on the doors and come say hi…

  6. ummm…… it would be the best webcam since the dawn of creation if: a, I could control the mother and b, I could see north to Almagreira and Belgas and south to Supers and c, it has the ability to self clean as more often that not it’s covered in seagull crap.

    A big white lorry with 58 surf on the doors! I’ve seen a few of those about and when the doors open the beaches become flooded with surfer dudes and dudettes all sporting the same wetsuit, rashie and blue foam surboards… are you the cause of this flotsam and jetsam?

    1. Not guilty. That would be a small white minibus driven by Lars or Daniel from 58 Surf camp. Mine is an ageing Leyland DAF the size of a small house with just me and Tango (and occasionally Papersurfer junior). Whether we ‘flood out’ remains to be seen. I’m thinking more of a meander…

  7. Hi again, sorry for taking so long to get back to you about a surf, lots of things to sort out and then all this bad weather. I’ll hopefully be heading to the coast this Sat, Sun or Mon as it’s looking better. Do you fancy meeting up somewhere and getting a few waves and beers? I have a hire car but not sure how many boards I can squeeze in. Drop me a line.
    Peter WD

    1. Ah Mr WD. I’m looking at heading to Baleal/Peniche on Monday-ish for a couple of days. Will keep an eye on the surf reportage and decide nearer the time…

  8. Hi again, here’s my mobile number if you want to call or text me for the surf. 910651945

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