Surf report Portugal…

baleal midday glare

…the first thing to report is the continued need for factor 50 on my (ever so slightly) follicle-free cranium, the water still only requires 3 millimetres of neoprene and most of the German plastic longboarders have vacated the line up.

Friday – the surf however has not been so pleasant – a howling north wind has left a lumpy, uneven swell pummelling the coast. Shelter has been available in Baleal bay but the small wave count has been somewhat of a bunfight – a high numpty to surfer ratio evened out the odds of catching some good waves but made for an interesting ride avoiding the swarm of flailing bodies and discarded boards…

Saturday – the gale is dying leaving a choppy windblown swell. We take refuge from the crowds and opt for rubbish waves at Bocaxica instead. Some large sets made it around the corner and made my day – big drops and lumpy faces. Skaty, uneven fun that took me to the beach several times…

Sunday  – a hangover the size of Birmingham procluded any type of surfing activity. I’m glad AD has only one birthday a year.

Monday – sunday’s hangover (now the size of a small family car) still looms. I’m getting too old for this shit…

I didn’t surf today.


    1. …you should try a manbag – much more suited to an old maid like you. I was that numpty not so long ago and although those days are gone I’ll never forget my numpty roots…

        1. It comes from the famous surfery rhyme:

          Numpty Dumpty sat on a wall
          Numpty Dumpty had a great fall
          Because he was a malcoordinated spaghetti-legged twat
          Who couldn’t surf either

  1. No, no, no, you’re not too old for hangovers. When it gets to feeling like you got run over by a bicycle 30 minutes after your last drink, then MAYBE you’re too old. πŸ˜€

    I love it when you post pictures…they help my poor brain catch up faster on the surfer scenes you describe so whimsically.

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