Introducing the micro novel

I was going to write a post introducing a list of the best micro novels currently in progress on the internet. These are works of fiction presented in tiny chunks of text via a micro-blogging platform such as Twitter or Facebook. A seemingly brilliant notion that panders to the world’s attention deficit disorder. No rambling monologues or indigestible diatribe. Just plot and dialogue in pieces so small even my father could digest them.

I googled around (I love a good googling on a Friday evening) but was unable to find anything appropriate. A few authors are releasing mini teaser series on facebook to get people hooked before sending them to Amazon but no purpose built micro novels. Fear not, oh reader with miniscule attention span, you can feed your peeny hunger pangs with the latest micro-blog-buster from the Penfold Crockett house of very small publications…

The Dead Monkey Society has just started on Facebook featuring the intrepid Sam Phoenix (I chose FB as the base platform so I can do some illustrations occasionally) you can also check updates on Twitter (@samuelphoenix).

If anybody knows any micro-novels currently in progress please leave a link in the comments below…

I didn’t surf today. A clown just got murdered…

Social networking – the end of the world?

A simple discussion with the gorgeous Tango (grrr) recently ended in a rather startling conclusion:

It began with the simple thought that social networking websites are an incredibly efficient waste of time when you’re not working and of course that led to the thought that there must be an enormous percentage of office workers online during the day that are logged into these sites. If the number of minutes spent yakking away on Twitter or Facebook were tallied up for every single one of those millions of people and that was translated into loss of revenue from lack of time spent doing their jobs then the figures would be astronomical.

This isn’t a case of Shelley from accounting playing a few rounds of Minesweeper during an extended coffee break – we are talking billions upon billions of dollars being spunked up the wall by miscreant Tweeters wiffling about what colour socks they are wearing.

If this continues to grow at this alarming rate the knock on effect will be catastrophic – companies will close, markets will crash and the very fabric of our capitalist society will crumble into dust and soon we’ll all have to knit our own sandals from tofu and start eating muesli flavoured Big Macs.

There is of course the theory that Al Qaeda masterminded the Facebook phenomenon. That would be ridiculous. Surely…

I didn’t surf today. I was too busy facebooking your mum.

Twitter notification tweet sound

jay in fig tree

Having recently lost my Twitter virginity I was slightly confused by the utter pointlessness of knowing what a gazillion people that I don’t know were having for breakfast. That, coupled with the general clunkiness of the whole Twitter experience (having to refresh to get updates being the main issue) nearly led to my Twittery demise.

However, I have since discovered Twitterfox, which is a Firefox plugin (you still use Internet Explorer? Shame on you internet dinosaur person…) that neatly puts Twitter into a tiny pop-up window in the corner of your browser. It updates automatically and allows you to have a notification sound file. I have a nice tweety bird singing like it was a fresh day in spring when a friend adds a Tweet (which it is coincidentally – so that’s all panned out beautifully).

If you want to use the same tweety bird singing then right click on the link below and save to your ‘my sounds’ folder.

tweety bird sound file

I have a plethera of short, non-offensive sound files. If anybody wants me to post them  just let me know.

I didn’t surf today. Going next week I think. Yay…

Fake Dalai Lama scams Twitterers…

…it’s good to know that the spiritual leaders of the world are keeping in touch with the common man. Not only does tha Dalai Lama have his own homepage but he also has a devious doppleganger Tweeting like the wind on his behalf – spreading dubiously derived wise words and fake love across the globe. Aparrently the nefarious wannabe had over 16,000 followers before the Twitter authorities saw through his evil plan.

This recent scandal in the microblogging world that is Twitter just adds to my vague scepticism even though I do dabble occasionally myself. If however, your ambition is to fill all the tiny spaces of the internet with completely useless information and inane wafflings then this will of course be most beneficial to your quest.

If you want to listen to more pap and nonsense then check out the following Twitterers…

Stephen Fry (very funny)

Tango (grrr) (exceedingly hot)

Daddy Papersurfer (prolificly idiotic)

Papersurfer (very handsome, witty and charming – allegedly)

God (omnipotent entity that created the universe – also allegedly)

I didn’t surf today. So stop asking.