Every now and then I sift through my statcounter and see why or how people arrive at Papersurfer Continue reading “Wooden breasts”
…please send answers on a postcard to the ‘Penfold doesn’t know what to write about competition’.
Prizes may include:
- A post dedicated to you.
- A pair of DaddyP‘s underpants (chemically cleaned by professionals).
- A free subscription to Twitter.
- Private surf lessons from Tango in a bikini.
- Breast enhancement surgery from the Penfold carpentry workshop.
Of course several of the above answers may be unavailable at any particular time for any number of reasons. For example – DaddyP may not actually own a single pair of underpants and be going ‘commando’ for all eternity – scrotum and trouser gusset in perfect harmony. Twitter may already be free and widely available to any idiot out there with the will to wiffle wantonly and Tango in a bikini may only be available if I were to win my own competition (but that may be construed as ‘insider trading’).
So if the post dedication seems unsuitable then I would be quite happy to knock you up a pair of splintery wooden norks out of some old floorboards and a selection of rusty 4″ nails…
I didn’t surf today.