Terribly English…


The Portuguese aren’t like the English – if you ask an Englishman how they are very rarely will you get more than a ‘fine thanks and you?’

If you ask a Portuguesa how things are going – be prepared for an onslaught of news ranging from recent and current ailments, problems with the goats and why you shouldn’t eat/wear/sit on/touch or put your finger in any number of random items…

Bloggings a bit like that – I feel that most people don’t really want to hear about the bruise on my left buttock or the fact that when I turn my head to the right my eye twitches. ‘I had a shit day at the office dear’ and ‘no I couldn’t get an erection’ are definitely off the menu (I actually had an OK day at the orifice and as for the erection – well it’s been so long it may as well have dropped off – apart from the obvious inconvenience urinating without one I might not even notice).

Anyway the point being deciding the fine line between depressing drudgery and wry humour is obviously an art form that many people are grappling with in blogland (and in general conversation) so if you don’t have anything interesting to say or you can’t think of a scintillating way of delivering it then the most English course of action is to smile benignly and just shut up.

I don’t need to be told twice.

I didn’t surf today.


  1. I return to a life of sobriety only to find a New Zealand surfer on my doorstep. Forthwith a bottle of gin was consumed. I feel very poorly but through the haze of my hangover (or perhaps i am developing cataracts) i see a pattern developing. Don’t go drinking with surfers. You will always feel really ill the next day. With that thought i feel the need to lie down.

  2. Interesting observation I must say (I am totally ignoring the splashy ceiling btw)
    I hope what I have ever I have posted on my site that has a bit of a ‘downer’ has attached a silvery lining type thing after it. Coz I feel what ever you experience in life’s rich pattern teaches you and you uplift from it.. maybe I am just an optimist but alas the wry humour I am still unsure whether I have mastered it. But I love our English smiling benignly because inwardly we are saying ‘wtf is going on there then’ but have that fixed grin that is classic

  3. It is interesting how different cultures engage in simple conversation. Most people ask others how they are but rarely want to stay around for the real answer. It really throws the person asking if you give anything resembling a true answer instead of the standard ‘fine, thanks’.

  4. Hey Sogz – isn’t he Welsh but just a bit lost? Say hi to the hairiest surfer in surfdom for me and tell him I’ll save him a small wave for his arrival…
    Ms Teen – the Portuguese seem quite proud of their open pessimism whereas the Brits seem really proud of their ability to skirt around the issue.
    Ms Regular – every now and then I blurt out a great big list of complaints when asked how I am (normally to relative strangers) then watch their face fall and go back to the grin and a ‘just kidding’…

  5. Miss Soggy – It seems to me there may be another common denominator here – yourself. I hope you’re not leading my baby boy astray. After all, surfer’s bodies are their temples you know and the inside of a gin bottle’s a slippery slope.

  6. hey man, sorry about the erection, or lack thereof. would love to help out but the hands and other body parts don’t reach that far. you know, there is a solution, and i think it’s in holland, or wherever they make blonde curly haired women with little noses and lovely cheekbones. xx

  7. Thanks for the offer Roxy!
    As for the blonde curly haired women with little noses and lovely cheekbones – they only want me for one thing – my favourite hat…
    Such is life x

  8. Fear not oh K papersurfer. I have not led your baby boy to an ashtray (ooops sorry… its the cataracts again) He gave up ashtray long ago. I am but a weak willed student dietitian who hasn’t perfected the art of practicing what she preaches so sadly i fear you may be right. But with only sheep, leeks and mattress surfer to talk to what can you expect.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *