Two bees or not two bees…

Einstein (obviously a genius in and out of the surf) was allegedly heard muttering a somewhat sweeping statement about the state of the universe during an all night drinking binge in a Yates wine lodge in Preston high street. His mouth was slightly tainted with extra hot chillies from a rather tired looking doner kebab that was dribbling down his chin onto his previously starchy white lab coat – so take this with a pinch of salt…

“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.”

It has recently been said that – on the subject of mobile phones killing entire colonies of bees (probably by a descendant of Einstein caught in a toilet cubicle in a westend night spot with a suspiciously thin model – both seemingly suffering from hayfever…)

“Scientists claim radiation from handsets are to blame for mysterious ‘colony collapse’ of bees”

– meaning that any moment now we shall all die.

Don’t Panic!

We have taken this on board and conducted our own experiment to disprove this theory. At work we came across a large rather busy nest of the afore mentioned pollen gathering buzzy beasts. The nest needed to be moved but rather than destroy it and kill hundreds of otherwise harmless pollinating friends my chief biologist (AD) installed a mobile phone next to the colony for a scientifically designated perod of time (until the battery ran out).

The next day the bees were nowhere to be seen. Upon closer inspection of their tiny empire they were found to be still at home but in a state of catatonia – now, this may have been a complete coincidence and been due to the weather or a stage in their activity cycle. I personally feel that the microwaves sent their tiny heads into a state of euphoric torpor resulting in a certain amount of lethargy and a tendency towards social paranoia –

Bee one – are you gonna go outside today man?

Bee two – are you kidding dude, have you seen how big it is out there? And how high up we are? Nah…

Bee one – go on man I need some fresh pollen…

Bee two – yeah but I heard…

Bee one – wassup man? What did you hear…?

Bee two – I heard that it’s been scientifically proven that we can’t even fly!

Bee one – shit man, you’re freakin’ kidding! Well there’s no way I’m going out then…

I didn’t surf today. Look at the surf convoy

10 Replies to “Two bees or not two bees…”

  1. Hi Leon – you’re right bees are smart – I’m wondering if they know that they have control of the planet and whether this may be some kind of play for world domination…

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