What I need…

    A shower.
    Some vegetation time – preferably horizontal – maybe involving a sofa and a crap film.
    Dinner – thai green curry would be nice…
    A drink – obviously a pint of Strongbow – straight from the fridge.
    A massage – my back and shoulders wrenched mercilessly by someone large, muscular and unattractive, possibly from the Soviet Union – until I am soft and pliable.
    Another massage – my back, front and sides gently rubbed with essential oils preferably by someone exceedingly attractive with an intimate knowledge of the human body – until I am the exact opposite of the previous.
    A jolly good seeing to – from someone with similar qualifications to previous until I have returned to the afore-mentioned state of ‘softness and pliability’.

These requirements are placed in order from likely through extremely unlikely all the way to ‘a whelks chance in a supernova’…

I think I’ll sort out the first three then go back to the second and dream of the rest…

I didn’t surf today. Did I mention the 15ft waves that are hitiing the west coast at the weekend? Cripes…

13 Replies to “What I need…”

  1. i also am in need of a shower. and i don’t just mean i need to stand under one to get clean (which i do) but i am also i need of the one in my house to be finished so i can use it, cos the outdoor solar shower is cold this time of day. perhaps you could find a large, muscular soviet masseuse who is also a plumber and send him round to me when you’re done with him? i’m not overly fussed if he’s attractive or not as long as he knows where to put his pipe.

  2. I like the sound of the couch & crap film. Add a bottle of red…let the mind-numbing games begin.

    Swell jumping to 12 feet for the weekend…ugh.

  3. Hi Sophie – I’d say that good plumbers were hard to find but I fear they are non-existent.
    Nmm – hmm are you man enough?
    Mum – does she? Oops…
    Nursie – just grrrr
    Hi Patch – thanks for dropping by – nice paintings btw…

  4. Hey Dean – cheers for popping by – I imagine by the time you get over here all will be managable again (for us normal folk) maybe see you at the beach??

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