What shall I write a blog post about…?

…please send answers on a postcard to the ‘Penfold doesn’t know what to write about competition’.

Prizes may include:

  1. A post dedicated to you.
  2. A pair of DaddyP‘s underpants (chemically cleaned by professionals).
  3. A free subscription to Twitter.
  4. Private surf lessons from Tango in a bikini.
  5. Breast enhancement surgery from the Penfold carpentry workshop.

Of course several of the above answers may be unavailable at any particular time for any number of reasons. For example – DaddyP may not actually own a single pair of underpants and be going ‘commando’ for all eternity – scrotum and trouser gusset in perfect harmony. Twitter may already be free and widely available to any idiot out there with the will to wiffle wantonly and Tango in a bikini may only be available if I were to win my own competition (but that may be construed as ‘insider trading’).

So if the post dedication seems unsuitable then I would be quite happy to knock you up a pair of splintery wooden norks out of some old floorboards and a selection of rusty 4″ nails…

I didn’t surf today.


    1. I am absolutely no help whatsoever. My mind is blank. Vacuous. Sem luz. Estou desligado. Nada, nichts, zip and diddly squat.
      If we get really desperate we could ask DP for help (just kidding).

  1. Now …. this is what I call a post – brilliant, to the point, full of lacking content, incisive, marginally more fun than watching paint dry, the promise of prizes to die for [if I win a bikini-clad Tango for instance I’d definitely be killed by several people probably] …….. marvellous.

    Spookily, I’m running a competition tomorrow with a real prize ……. I might have to rethink the whole concept now ……

    1. A T-shirt designed – sorry – inspired by you. That surely is a jewel to be tresured. I must remember to leave a comment on your blog this month…

  2. I’ve got writer’s block too, but there’s some good
    surfin pics you could steal over at ‘Nanny Goats in Panties’………………….

    1. 2 doorbells? Greedy…
      I’m sure I could whittle you a nice pair of knockers to decorate your front portal if so desired. Hand finishing is recommended for perfect resonance…

    1. They may dent your deck but can be used as an emergency wax comb if necessary.
      Glad to hear that you are back in the water – when are you coming over for a surf…? x

  3. you could write about your earliest birthday memory? your most favorite birthday memory? what would your ideal birthday be like? write one word for each year of your life so far… or just animate the sheep, make it jump up and down, flailing it’s little arms, and say “happy birthday”…

  4. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Feliz aniversario Handsome!

    Best get your whirling pants on so you’re ready when your present finally arrives … xxx

  5. Thanks to one and all.

    In accordance with my current age I have decided to spend the day sewing mothballs into my trouser-hems and sucking some Wurthers with my teeth out…

  6. Hey shark fin; There is no surf just wind and rain!!!. Sorry i forgot yesterday, happy birthday (are you as old as me yet?)
    all the best

  7. You know what, this post was over a year ago but it still makes me laugh and I just don’t have that wit to post like this one if I don’t have anything to post on my blog. Just brilliant! Oh I would just use natural breast enlargement process, maybe its too expensive at the Penfold carpentry workshop lol

    1. Thank you Nancy and welcome. Natural enhancement would be a much better option. Nothing worse than a badly sanded nork…

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